The Answer
WARNING! Before I go any further, it is very important that readers from California use this link to view the current article. There is a known virus going around which, for some reason, only targets...
View ArticleDear Women of Seattle, We’re Not All Looking At You. Regards, Rex
Whenever Seattle makes the national news, it’s never for something good, and this week was no exception. Apparently, a woman who lives in a building about a block from my own, looked out the window...
View ArticleSummer Break in Seattle
Jumper When I get the standard reply from suburban soccermoms, I just politely concede my children’s disadvantage. “They don’t have a yard? They share a room? You don’t have a car?” “You’re right”, I...
View ArticleThen There Were Two
Downtown motorists were caught somewhat off-guard this past week when Pike Street became a veritable parking lot during the evening rush hour. The reason for the backup? The far right lane of travel...
View ArticleSummer in the City
“They aren’t growing up with a back yarrrd! Won’t they miss not having a back yarrrrd?” Nope. They have one. As far as my kids are concerned, Lake Union is their personal over-sized swimming pool,...
View ArticleThe MEattle Syndrome
“You know, I like Seattle”, I overheard someone telling a companion, “but I’ve never seen such pedestrian-hostile drivers in my life!” A friend of mine moved here about two years ago, and shortly after...
View ArticleUnfortunate Sons
Just before 5pm yesterday, I spotted a small protest march making its way up Pike Street. As they got closer, I could see that they were protesting the state of law enforcement in the USA. They were a...
View ArticleSeattle Drivers: Still Bad After All These Years
“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kirkland anymore … there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home …” “Bicyclists should be licensed and required to carry insurance!”, squawked the friend of a...
View ArticleFirst Hill’s Panorama House Is Owned By Assholes
Seattle. The world’s largest Monopoly board. Magnet for every greedy real estate developer in the good old US of A. “Well, that’s the price of progress, Rex. It’s a free market.” Yeah, the...
View ArticleCrane City
I’ve been around the block a few times, but I can say without exaggeration, that I have never in my life seen as much construction as I have seen in Seattle, Washington in 2014. Look left, there are...
View ArticleBetter Late Than Never
The 2nd Avenue Bike Lanes arrived last week, and so far, from what I’ve seen, they’re getting decent usage. Especially for being so new. It’s just too bad another cyclist had to die before they...
View ArticleThe Strongest Swimmer Takes a Spin
I could start, author, and maintain an entire blog about shitty Seattle-tourist drivers, and have enough material for multiple articles daily. Hell, sometimes it feels like that’s exactly what I’m...
View ArticleReal Niggaz Smoke Crack
Alright ya pussies, you got marijuana legalized, but weed is for children. Amateurs. Precious suburban kids who, months prior, were sniffing glue. That’s why it was legalized. The suburban white...
View ArticleThe Jump
It’s a Seattle right of passage. The bridge in South Lake Union Park. Cherries popped in 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … Continue reading The Jump
View ArticleScenes From Super Seattle Halloween Fun Night 2014
I’m happy to report that the First Annual Super Seattle Halloween Fun Night was a rousing success. It was so successful, in fact, that the organizers have decided to host a Super Seattle Halloween...
View ArticleSame Difference
Doggie Daycare. Kiddie Daycare. Same street, same day, one block apart, one blink and you can’t tell which is which. The fate of kids and canines look remarkably similar these days. Both species...
View ArticleWhite Trash
When affluent white people feel guilty about something, they lash out at everyone else. The streets are packed with c02-spewing cars. The airports are packed with travelers, waiting to board...
View ArticlePike Street
From Pike Place Market to 15th Avenue, I’ve probably logged more hours on Pike Street in the last decade than any other street in the world. My entire family knows every crack, dip, and imperfection...
View ArticleNo Shit, Sherlock
Gentrification Creates Homelessness Graffiti Here in Seattle, we like to state problems. Repeatedly. In self-righteous, indignant ways. Solving those problems? We could not possibly care less about...
View ArticleSign, Sign, Everywhere a Fucken Sign
Twenty somethings with cardboard signs. We have an awful lot of them. Some of the signs are sad. Some of the signs are funny. Some of the signs are creative. All of the signs offer help and...
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